So I Pray


Social Welfare History Project Youth Finds Its Own Answers: 1939

From my yesterday..
Arm yourself with knowledge .

You are not forgotten by those who have made their marks on the walls .

I think of you and every single young boy and girl that will wear the same shoes I was given.

The stained tee shirts given to be worn. Then packed away in a box for the next generation to leave behind .

Its not easy to explain to someone who can never understand where you and I have been .

So I leave behind me these links of historical significance.

American people or politicians have no shame or concern for the children that have been denied any kind of humanity.

These are things I know only we can change.

So never forget those taking our places . Never stop fighting for

Isaiah 57:15 (KJV) – Forerunner Commentary

Look and marvel at this mystery and find it is not mystery at all .

It is written, it was, it is and it will not be unseen tomorrow as it is not unseen today, from my yesterday. To my tomorrow, to your today let the holy spirit guide me through for I only have this moment in my flesh. I seek the life that is the word. And this is written, again and again. Here I am , dear Heavenly Father, here I am.

With Fear and Trembling

Things I do not understand

Dear Heavenly Father, Guide my right hand and judge the intentions of my heart. Let not my own thoughts mislead your children.

Things that I do not understand are things that no one can truly declare.

Who can stand up and say that they know the mind of God and teach me?

With fear and trembling I preserve my books of remembrance to honor God and God alone.

My fear of offending God with traditions of mankind’s religion comes from the scriptures that are so clearly written, that I, as a child could understand.

Like a list of rules . The first being to Love the Lord my God, and I do. I love God with all my heart and soul.

Next, rule number 2, God is a jealous God, I am not to have any other God before me.

I made a choice

I choose to pray to God and God alone.

So many other people have been taught to pray to Jesus and his name.

Even though in the book of Matthew, it clearly has been written , as the words of Jesus to the child, to keep the laws of God given by Moses. So I do not worship Jesus as God . Did Jesus die so we could live as sinners and be blameless and so easily forgiven?

Or did Jesus suffer so much so I can know God as a sinner and be able to stand in judgment and be accountable for my actions, my obedience to the laws that are known as the 10 commandments. The rules.

So I prayed to God for understanding

I do not mention rules 4 through 10 because they are of moral values , murder, adultery, coveting, etc .

BUT.. the warning of idolatry and worship of a god carved in the image of a man , by men , scares the doubt right out of my heart.

I know the biblical history of the life of Jesus and the scripture is not read by many in context as it is written, but read as pieces and parts . Foolishly and in vain to suit the needs of the teachers.

Am I wise? No I am not. Am I wrong when so many are right? I don’t know.

Do I believe that God will cast me out for choosing to live, as a sinner, I am not sober, but I am kind .

I have stolen, but not when I was given a way , I prayed to God to guide me to a better way. God opened doors and they did not close behind me , but I do not dare to offend God by turning back from his mercy , by the will of God and by God’s will alone , I live, when those behind me fell that chose stay.

These are things I can not make anyone else understand. But those who understand, truly understand.

I tremble in fear of offending God , the living God, God of the living, while I am alive.

Most precious of all

Following the links

To the faithful ones that God has gathered to see what I have hidden in my heart.

I see the written words like seeds I have thrown into the wind .

As I listen , I listen not to, but within my heart , with fear .

A fear that I will offend God.

As I listen for the Holy Spirit , not to inspire my thoughts in my mind, but to touch my very soul .

I call upon God to guide my right hand in every book of remembrance .

I call upon God to let only truth be written by my hand . I call upon God to judge the intentions of my heart, and if it be worthy, it will be found by you.

My fear of offending God with my own thoughts just because I know you will see it . Knowing you have followed me and not knowing what you are looking at has made me aware of the silence . Fearful of my disobedience to preserve the presence of God and declare that God confirms his hand in a way that only you will understand.

I look back at the words I have written and marvel at the mystery of the messages that were unable to be seen until the day that I saw that I reaped what I had sown

Remember to click the link above

To my followers and visitors

My name is Connie Ford Johnson. Below is a picture of a page from my original literary collections I call my Books of remembrance .

My poems are written with my limited vocabulary , run on sentences that usually end and begin with the word and .

And “… “instead of commas or question marks.

My childhood Experiences are unique .

but not so uncommon that anyone can be offended by the unGodly cruelty of mankind upon children under the care of church and state that will soon be unable to be ignored.

As more and more victims become adults and surpass the ” statistical “7 year life expectancy to become child sex trafficking survivors as adults no longer profitable or attractive to adults who rape children.

If you are interested in my point of view as a surviving adult of yesterday’s thrown away children I am on Twitter under #requestformercy or Google search clford2121


The written word

Those who search for the written word, without the vanity of mankind,

would you say that it is truly hard to find?

Free to be told , never to be sold. I share with you the seed God has hidden in my heart.

I have made many books of remembrance and I awe at the mystery of the gift that belongs not to me, but to those God chooses to receive.

I do not have any answers to declare that I am wise to know the mind of God.

I do not seek to explain the truth of what is plainly written , but few will truly see.

So I share my love of God by scattering the words like seeds.

To my Follower

Thank you for visiting my posts. Hidden within my unorganized and chaotic articles are prayers to God, my Heavenly Father is who I call upon.

To guide my right hand and judge my heart. My fear of offending God is strong . Offending God with my own fear of my enemy.

I call upon God to bless this pen and guide my right hand. This is not about religious traditions of mankind.

This is one of numerous sites that I have given back to God for all that God has given me.

I hope to hear from you about your thoughts on whatever subject matter brought you here.

Thank you for visiting. I am sorting through this to hopefully reorganize and simplify the subjects into categories. Thank you so much for your time and kindness.

Connie Ford Johnson. C.L.Ford

Dear Heavenly Father

I had a question for my Heavenly Father.

For the children who have been so loved and lost, but chosen to be with such great favor to hear that unmistakable voice in their hearts.

To the one who is set apart from the world and seeking for answers,

Well I don’t know the answer you are searching for  but I have great knowledge that most people can find exactly what they want to see.   Or move on till its found to be acceptable to them.

I am not an exception to this.

It all comes down to a choice

The hard cold truth .

The comfortable middle.

The bliss of total dismissal of the whole subject.

Can my way of belief be totally changed ?

No.   I take it to be a personal and private decision to make on my own place in life.

Faith is not free of worry  .     Doubt that brings guilt for going against the world and even against the ones who have raised you, is not easy. .

It’s okay to be with questions ab  religious beliefs and traditions.

But you have been gathered to me and set apart for a reason . I hope I can comfort you and you can draw courage to continue to sow seeds and preserve the words hidden in your own heart.



I remember Me

“The smallest of all three me”s is in my youngest memories..

In the green pastures i will forever find her there … Beside the still waters she plays without a care…

By her tiny right hand God led her to this place… He let her little body fall And set a choice all Gods children face…

No words were spoken by her Heavenly Father that fleshy ears would hear… Her soul was gathered in God’s love that innocently was without fear…

He gave her the choice of live or to die.. She chose to live and she told her Heavenly Father why.. She knew by death … here she would remain.. In the presence of God’s love .. no words can explain..

She answered “” i would like to live so i can play”” God restored her soul. By his gift of life. …is the very breath she breathed..

Where she had fallen as dead upon the grass .. Her first death has come to pass… God opened her eyes She was able to see… There was no veil to divide…. God opened her ears to hear.. upon her heart he wrote his law for her life she would abide..

He planted a seed and its hidden in her heart… Such a gift found in the words she sews…. In Gods love she continues to grow.

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