No Father, I want to play…… 

MY testimony of the love of God for his children

 This is my testimony of my first death. 

I have had such little faith . 

I  sit frozen in fear  on my own couch with the invisible serpent crawling upon my back. 

Yes it is a trial of my life.  I was just under the age of 10 years old when I was playing in the pasture with my plastic canoes in the narrow stream that was my favorite place to play.  

The pasture was owned by our neighbors and they had horses that they let us ride on couple of occasions and my mother was not thrilled  but I was just a child and did not question why we were no longer allowed to accept the offer to help with the horses.  When they were brought out of the barn and groomed . 

This particular day I was warned to stay away from the barn and the new pony that was housed in the stall . 

I had never before crossed the stream to climb up the small slope to the barn and didn’t even acknowledge that unusual instructions on the subject. 

So I went to the stream and dropped my canoes in and I ran along the bank to beat them downstream at the wide spot where the   cows and the visiting horses crossed  in single file  to graze in the large pasture. .  

The waters were still and the canoes were slow and my attention went to the horse that was watching from the barn stable and his whinny and snorts were like a call for attention to me. 

So I crossed the stream and followed the bare path  to the barn . Thinking only for a second about my mother’s warning to not do that one thing that I never done . 

So I will skip the dramatic story  cause I am  not a  skilled writer and I don’t want to take away from the beauty of this testimony.  

I heard the   words of man about the bad things that happen to children and I get angry and sad at the same time.  They say that God is to blame for the evil things done to the innocent children. 

Well I am alive today and I work in the morning and then in the nighttime  watches while I am still in the world. 

For me as I was playing  in the green pasture beside the still waters , yes just as it is written,   I entered the barn in my disobedience to my mother’s rule  , and I tried to ride the pony and it broke through the stall and  down the path to the creek as I held on to his name with no bridle or saddle I was thrown 

I felt no pain nor did I realize that I was in danger.  For I was no longer in the world but I was in the presence of my Heavenly Father.   I don’t know the words to describe the feeling of peacefulness and their was no bright light to go into . I was with God , and even though I didn’t see him  I knew who he was and I had no  thoughts of where I came from or what happened to me. 

But I was in the presence of my Heavenly Father and I was his child  

He spoke to me  and gave me a choice . 

He asked me if I wanted to stay with him or  return to the world  .

I had no thoughts and of my mother or sisters or memories of my life . 

I said No Father, I want to stay and play. 

I chose life    . But it was God that chose me. 

When I opened my eyes I saw the sky and felt the sun upon my face. Then I heard the running water in the stream  .  

When I tried to raise up from the ground I had a small pain in my shoulder. But I was alive and well. 

I gave no thoughts to the  wonder of the one who  I called my Father ,  nor did I speak of it to my mother, just the fact that I was in big trouble for disobeying.

But I think of the choice to live. , to stay and play .  If I would have chose to stay in the peaceful presence of the one who saved me, would my mother have found me lifeless in the pasture with my neck broken , ?   Maybe  ,  but God  has walked with me , my testimony of my disobedience did not go unpunished. My collarbone was broken and I have much to share with you about the wilderness of my life and how much God loves me even though I chose my own paths and the road led me to speak with you.




One thought on “No Father, I want to play…… 

  1. Don’t be discouraged when I mention the serpent upon my back

    For the devil comes to steal and destroy the words of my heart.

    I feel like I fight constantly to be with you.
    For me too be with the sins of my left hand, that was torn and bruised in the mouth of the wolf like dog when I disobeyed the one thing that was commanded for me not to do , but that is another testimony .

    So the serpent spirit that attacks me when I preserve the words in my service to the one that is above all things that are seen and unseen in the world.. my Heavenly Father is the only one that has saved me, and I will continue to sow seeds and fight for the children who are to come after our lives are long gone and forgotten. May the will of God accept the works of my hands and the words that are written be found worthy to be received by you .


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